Shh....Don't tell the Nutitionist!

I've though it might be fun to write a book for rebel diabetics.

It would cover subjects like:

Comeback lines for nosey relatives
- " No you can't watch; you haven't paid the admission fee."
-" Please don't tell the police"

Ten best exercises to beat the Sugar-high-blues
- 1. Bullfighting
2. Chewing toffee(but don't swallow)
3. Watching gymnastics(taking part is almost as good)
4. Bend over and touch part way up your shins

Famous diabetics of the past (we think)
-Cleopatra: It wasn't really an asp, she just overdosed of insulin
-Buddha: He had weight issues (type two)
- William Shakeneedle
-The Grim Reaper: Too late!
-Elijah: Took sweet chariots when he swung low.
-Most Gurus: They lie beds of needles
- Sir Ed: He held the record for going highest apart from
-Neil Armstrong

Also our favourite diabetes researcher, Dracula



Acupuncture for beginners


*RECYCLE*Uses for left over insulin vials and test strips
- Wearable Art
-Draught proofing your windows
-measuring rainfall


Best Recipes Ever!
-Fudge
-Lemonade
-HokeyPokey
-White Icing

Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I love Christmas. I love being excited about presents. I love all the cooking and decorating and preparation that goes into making an event. I especially love dad reading the Christmas story!

Isn't it sad how so many people only see Christmas as a stressful, expensive, crazy time of year? As a season dominated by expensive last minute shopping and steamy hot kitchens filled with ungrateful relatives?

I spoke to one poor woman at work the other day; she was very stressed and we couldn't find the product she wanted. She told me her house was 62 degrees from her ceramics mending business, and she desperately needed to finish a pottery project before Thursday for someone. As she left, she emphatically informed me that she was "Looking forward to Christmas with five cats and NO HUMANS".

It can seem like everyone is out to ruin Christmas. The economy is collapsing. Christians complain about Santa and the "X" in "Xmas". Liberals complain that we aren't incorporating enough Muslim and Hindu tokens. Kid's complain about what presents they want. Non profit organizations see a great chance for yet more appeals. And then someone tells you to slow down this Christmas and remember Christ...

But imagine a year without Christmas. Imagine a life without celebrations. What about that present your giving to someone that you know is just perfect? What about Christmas dinner and fruit mince tarts? When else would those non profit organizations get enough to last a year and brighten a small child's day in Africa? Would you miss the family get together?

So is Christmas worth it? Absolutely!

Why we cover our webcam...

The World in Proportion

Have you ever wondered what the world would look like if the map were rearranged in terms of something other than land mass or location? I haven't.

But, since there is a website for every thing, there is even a website for this stretching the globe!

So if you ever wondered which nations emitted the most carbon, or where the most Baha'i live, or how countries would look dived by population, you should check out Worldmapper. It is really fascinating.

This is my favourite picture, the world in terms of meat exports. Dude, we dwarf the USA and China.

Creamy Coconut Curry

There are two sorts of people in the world, those who follow recipes and those who don't.
The nonconformists make all sorts of excuses such as not having the right ingredients, but the real truth is that they just don't like to do as they're told.
I am afraid that I belong firmly in this second group.

When I look through a cookbook, I see reams of endless possibilities. Each meal could be altered or combined in a thousand different ways. The one thing that is entirely impossible is to actually follow the recipe.
I could try, but I would decide halfway to add some extra veg to stretch the meal. Or I would taste it at the end, and add pepper and lemon juice to finish it off.

One of the reasons I don't follow recipes is that I know what I want to cook. However, chefs are not mindreaders, and they mostly don't write recipes for what I want to cook. It's like you want to travel across town, but you don't have a map. You have to strike out on your own.

Anyway, the point of all of that is that I want to share a recipe with you that I invented last time I went exploring the Culinary Jungles.

The situation was grim. I faced an almost impossible task: To make curry without curry powder. I would not give in. Neither would I walk to pakn'save and purchase curry powder.
After forty five minutes of intensive creativity, I served a curry so beautiful, so creamy, so mildly delicious, that mum actually asked if I'd used a can of commercial butter chicken.
This is that curry.


Meat (I used leftover sausages)
Veggies e.g. Mushroom, bell pepper, eggplant, sliced carrot
One very large onion
Three large cloves of garlic.
One tsp Turmeric
1/2 tsp Cloves
Two tsp Garam Masala.

Fry together until cooked, onion and spices first.

Meanwhile combine one can each of tomato and coconut cream with one cube beefstock and a little salt in a saucepan. Heat through, crushing tomatoes.

Pour the sauce over the meat and veg, and cook for another five minutes before you serve and enjoy.

I have deliberately left the recipe vague, so you too can get those creative juices flowing!

The Teacher Comes to Tea

When I heard that Jesus was coming, I got up early, and cleaned the houses like my grandmother does every pesach, thoroughly and neatly. Mary got up too, and tried to help, but she was so exited she only made more mess and chaos. I got so flustered Lazarus had to send her out to buy food and collect the day’s water. I finally finished at about lunchtime. Soon Mary came trotting in, leading a lamb. A LAMB.

“Don’t you think teacher would love roast lamb?”

“It’s very fancy…”

“And the shop man is bringing wine and spices to marinade it in and….”

I see the work piling up and up.

“Mary, did you remember the pita”

“I got something even better…” Uh-oh “Challah dough we can bake ourselves”.

And up and up.

We had just got the lamb on the spit, when we heard shouts down the road. Of Course Laz and Mary run off like a pair of babies to meet Jesus. Leaving me with all the work- Challah to bake, lamb to roast, pomegranates to split, gravy to make. And a dreadful mess from butchering the lamb.

When the teacher came in, my hands were bloody, my hair was a mess and I was stressing out. But He kindly complemented; “Martha, Mary, What a wonderful smell! You must have been cooking up a storm”

When he finished I walked into the kitchen “Mary, would you deal with the challah” I said, smelling the fragrant fresh bread. Then I realized I was talking into thin air. I would be lenient and not embarrass my sister before the teacher. I walked to the door. My finger lifted itself up and beckoned. Mary just shook her head.

She asked for it. “Lord, don’t you care! Mary’s left me with all the work.”

Mary’s face fell as she started to rise.

He actually defended her! “Martha, Martha, you’re trying to hard. You only need to do one thing, and Mary is doing it. I won’t take it away from her.” I looked down, expecting a smug sneer of triumph written all over her face. But it wasn’t. Mary was gazing earnestly, adoringly into the face of her master as he continued teaching.

After dinner Mary joined me in the kitchen. “sorry”

“Me too” I mumbled back.

“If you want I’ll do the pots and pans and you go listen to him”

She couldn’t do much damage doing dishes, so I accepted her offer and went to listen.

Now everyone is in bed, and I am washing up. When Mary followed me in 5 minutes time, she thought she was clearing the table, but I knew better. And I didn’t even mention it when she sat down to listen .

I didn’t get up either…

Rapunzel, part one

I have encountered a couple of PC fairytales lately, so I thought I would write one of my own. This is the first installation...

Once upon a time, there was a financially challenged couple, who inadvisably and irresponsibly decided to have a child. The Equal Partner in the long term commitment, of the female but certainly not less important gender, became pregnant, and experienced cravings for a certain variety of lettuce which is known as rapunzel.
However, when the male partner set out to buy the female partner some of this lettuce, he suffered discrimination on the grounds of finance.
Following this rejection by a society inadequate to deal with their needs, the couple vented their frustration by turning to crime.

The male person searched for a local grower of organic rapunzel, since he was an environmentally responsible person who wanted to limit his impact on the earth. He discovered that the only suitable lettuce garden belonged to a frightening chauvinist who always tried to force his religious views on others. He decided that it was certainly not stealing to confiscate property from such a menace, especially since his partner's wish for the green was valid and real.

He returned late that night, and appropriated several heads of the leafy vegetable, along with two carrots and a head of purple cabbage. He wanted to make sure that his partner ate all of her colours every day. He returned to bring more each night that week, and the female was much happier.

However, on the last night, he was surprised by the freakish growl of the owner.
"Hey you, what are yer doin wit me cabbyges?"
Thinking fast, the male replied that he was a postmodern artist drawing faces on them with marker pens.
"than whoy do yer need to do it at niooght?"
"they're glow-in-the-dark marker pens"

The grower of the cabbages didn't believe him, and threatened to call the police.
In desperation, the male fell on his knees in the moonlit garden, and begged the owner on account of his pregnant partner to let him go.
An evil glint came into the chauvinist Gardner's face;

"Tell ye wot, If ye gi'mme the babe when she's newborn, yer may take all the veggys ye want, 'cepting me colrabi, and as long as yer compost the peelins"

The thief took home some artichokes, and he discussed the situation with his partner.

She replied that she was feeling that the child would impose limits on her future career, and since she was the Male's equal in every way, she wouldn't stand for that. She felt that it was right for her at that time to give up the child, and indeed would be wrong to keep the baby and limit her personal growth.

A few months later the female brought her new tiny daughter to the chauvinist, and traded her in for a kilo of tomatoes.

MORAL FOR PART ONE- If you allow financially challenged personages to remain without a government subsidy, payrise, tax break etc. they will turn mega-crimes.

I slopped my dripper!

William Archibald Spooner

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William Archibald Spooner (July 22, 1844–August 29, 1930) was a famous Oxford don after whom is named a linguistic phenomenon, Spoonerism.

Contents [hide] 1 Biography 2 Spoonerisms 3 References 4 External links

[edit] Biography

Spooner was educated at Oswestry School and New College, Oxford, where he was the first non-Wykehamist to become an undergraduate. He was ordained deacon in the Church of England in 1872 and priest in 1875.
He remained at New College for more than sixty years, serving as Fellow (1867), Lecturer (1868), Tutor (1869), Dean (1876–1889), and Warden (1903–1930). He lectured on ancient history, divinity, and philosophy (especially on Aristotle's ethics).
Spooner has been described as, "an albino, small, with a pink face, poor eyesight, and a head too large for his body", and, "His reputation was that of a genial, kindly, hospitable man."^[1]
In the opinion of Roy Harrod, William Spooner exceeded all the heads of Oxford and Cambridge colleges he had known "having regard to his scholarship, devotion to duty, and wisdom."

[edit] Spoonerisms

Main article: Spoonerism

Spooner has become famous for his (real or alleged) "Spoonerisms", plays on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. Few of his own Spoonerisms, if any, were deliberate, and many of those attributed to him are apocryphal (The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (3rd edition, 1979) lists only one substantiated Spoonerism - "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer"). Spooner himself hated the reputation gained for getting his words muddled.
Some of the more famous quotations attributed to Spooner include:

• "The Lord is a shoving leopard", or "Come into the arms of the shoving leopard" (Loving shepherd)
• "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride" (...customary to kiss the bride)
• "Mardon me padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet?" (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?)
• "You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you will leave by the next town drain" (You have missed all my history lectures, and were caught lighting a fire in the quad. Having wasted two terms, you will leave by the next down train)
• He supposedly remarked to one lady, during a college reception, "You'll soon be had as a matter of course" (You'll soon be mad as a Hatter of course)
• "Let us glaze our asses to the queer old Dean" (...raise our glasses to the dear old Queen)
• "We'll have the hags flung out" (...flags hung out)
• "a half-warmed fish" (A half-formed wish)
• "Is the bean dizzy?" (Is the Dean busy?)
• "Go and shake a tower" (Go and take a shower)
• "a well-boiled icicle" (A well-oiled bicycle)
• "I've lost my signifying glass". (Later): "Oh, well, it doesn't magnify."

After the concept of Spoonerisms became known, Spooner once denounced a crowd that had gathered to hear him speak by saying, "You haven't come for my lecture, you just want to hear one of those...things."
Spooner is supposed to have committed other absent-minded gaffes. He was said to have invited a don to tea, "to welcome Stanley Casson, our new archaeology Fellow". "But, sir," the man replied, "I am Stanley Casson". "Never mind," Spooner said, "Come all the same".^[2]
At a party in North Oxfordshire his wife sustained a cut on her finger. When concerned friends asked him "Did she lose her finger permanently?", he is supposed to have answered "She lost her finger permanently, for a time".
One recorded incident had Spooner write a note asking for a fellow lecturer at New College to see him immediately about a matter. The note had a postscript informing the lecturer that the matter had been resolved and he no longer needed to see him.
Another story tells of Spooner preaching a sermon about St. Paul, but substituted the name Aristotle for St. Paul. When he finished, he came down from the pulpit, paused, went back up, and told his bewildered congregation, "Did I say Aristotle? I meant St. Paul." Some versions of this story have Spooner substituting Aristotle for Aquinas.
In an interview conducted shortly before his death, Spooner said that he could only remember specifically one of his misquotes: when he introduced the hymn "Kinkering Congs Their Titles Take" instead of "Conquering Kings Their Titles Take." His attitude towards his unintentional fame softened in his final years, even granting the occasional reprint for humor's sake, regardless of validity.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:15 2. Diamonds or pearls? Tough one. Pearls are sweet, by daimonds are sparkley! 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Prince Caspian 4. What is your favorite TV show? We don't have a TV (lol) 5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Porrige and fruit. Lots of porridge and fruit. 6. What is your middlename? Lee. Yes I know it's spelled the guys' way... 7. What food do you dislike? Okra...Actually I like most things 8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Kocha Shel Mela, an Israeli one. 9. What kind of car do you drive? Can't answer till next year 10. Favorite sandwich? Cheese, tuna, vegemite, beetroot, lettuce and lots of other salad stuff 11. What characteristic do you despise most? When someone is not straight up and honest 12. Favorite item of clothing? Skirts! dresses! balldresses! But perhaps my huge bright red baggy hippy pants from my old youth leader. 13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I'd love to see India and go shopping in the markets there. 14. Favorite brand of clothing? No fav brand, but I like unusual, floaty, ethnic clothing 15. Where would you retire? Retire? 16 What was your most recent memorable birthday? 16th. I got an amazing quilt! 17. Favorite sport to watch? Gymnastics 18. Furtherest place you are sending this? Cyberspace 19. Person you expect to send it back first? Blank 20. When is your birthday? Stickybeak! 21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Both but not afternoon 22. What is your shoe size? 9 or 10 UK, 41 EU 23. Pets? Sniff, I used to have the cutest finches. The stoopid things kept laying infertile eggs and dying. 24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? I’m actually 30 25. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher, a missionary in an orphanage, a marine biologist... 26. How are you today? my brain is DEAD 27. What is your favorite candy? Baklava 28. What is your favorite flower? Forget-me-nots 29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Christmas! Shayna's Bday dance 30. What is your favorite pastime? Cooking and crafts 31. What are you listening to right now? Avi's Stories 32. What was the last thing you ate? Cucumber. mmmmm. 33. Do you wish on stars? Star light/ Star bright/ I wish I may/ I wish I might/ have the wish I wish tonight... I used to, somthing to do with Cinderella 34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I was thinking purpley red, but that reminded me of bruises and my grandma's varicose vains. Lets do with bright blue 35. How is the weather right now? Sunny!!!!!!!!!!!! 36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? The Receptionist at Waitakere hospital 37. Favorite soft drink? Ginger beer 38. Favorite restaurant? Pho Bien, A Veitamese place 39. Real hair color? Streaky Blond. 40. What was your favorite toy as a child? My siblings. Trees to climb. 41. Summer or winter? Summer. Winter is COLD. 42. Hugs or kisses? Hugs. 43. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate. 44. Coffee or tea? dunno. Coffee, now I finally tried it... 45. Do you want your friends to email you back? They could comment... 46. When was the last time you cried? quite recently. today actually. I do it alot... 47. What is under your bed? Alians, I think, and a gargoil 48. What did you do last night? Woke up at 1:00am in need of sugar. The novelty of midnight snacks soon wears off... 49. What are you afraid of? Snakes and stingrays. People. 50. Salty or sweet? Salty 51. How many keys on your key ring? none 52. How many years at your current job? 0ne 53. Favorite day of the week? Friday. It's youth group night! 54. How many towns have you lived in? Six, counting South and West Auckland as different 55. Do you make friends easily? Mostly, but it depends on the other person. Not close freinds though. 56. How many people will you send this to? um.. 57. How many will respond? double um

What NOT to call your baby

Have you ever wondered what you will one day name your kids? well folks, it just got easier. Here is fully uncomprehensive list of mistakes you don't have to reapeat!

Arzit, F, means cedar panels

Avigdor, M, means father or protection (Shut the door, Avigdor)

Bazak, M, Lightning.

Cheftzeebah/Hefziba, F, She is my desire

Efrat - Honored (M)

Ditza , Ditzah - Joy (F) (Shes sooo ditzy)

Eshkol - Cluster of grapes (M)

Or you could name your child after a brand, like Armini or Chanal. If you go for a jeans brand, I reccomend levi's. However, it would be better to avoid Colgate or Signature Range.This practice is apparantly gaing popularity in the states... Click here.

Jewish Poetry

Our Choice
by Miriam (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Sparta/4219/ourchoice.htm)

Click the poem to see it more clearly

Welcome to Mammawithamission

I would just like to tell everyone they should check out mum's new blog!

It can be found at http://Mammawithamission.blogspot.com/ and has a very interesting piece about families and politics on it at the moment.

Changes...

Hi Everybody!

I thought I would give you all an update on the last few weeks, since they have been quite eventful for me.

I caught a bad cold about five weeks ago, and never really recovered. My nose stopped running, and I got over my cough, but I just couldn't seem to shake the tiredness. I got more and more weary, until last week I was sleeping almost all the time, and needing to rest before and after even easy jobs like setting the table. I also needed to drink and go the bathroom a lot! My weight went down to just 44kgs, which is pretty light compared to my 1.75 meter height! After researching my symptoms, we still didn't know what I had. Mum thought it was post viral fatigue, or a gluten intolerance, or bad depression. I was too sick to care.

Last Wednesday we went to the doctors, and she diagnosed me with type one diabetes. It only took her about ten seconds and a fingerprick!

She arranged for me to go into hospital just up the road, and so mum and I checked into the Accidents and Emergency department before lunch. I was pretty badly dehydrated, so they put me on a drip(It took them trying an elbow, both wrists, and both sides of my neck before they found a vein!). They brought down my blood sugar levels, which were about 30, down to normal(4-8) over the weekend, and I came home again on monday afternoon.

So what is diabetes? It basically means that my body can no longer automatically regulate my blood sugar levels. For some reason, the cells in my pancreas stopped making Insulin, which is the hormone necessary for my cells to take the glucose out of my blood. So my cells were slowly starving while my blood was sugar laden. In turn, the solute rich blood drew all the water out of my cells, dehydrating me.

Since I can't automatically regulate my sugar levels anymore, I have to do it manually. This means I have to carry around a little finger pricker, to test my blood glucose regularly, and inject my self with insulin in the morning, evening and before each meal. I am getting pretty sick of needles!

My eating habits won't have to change all that much, but I have to be careful to avoid eating very much food, esp. simple sugars, without also taking the correct amount of insulin. I also have to be care ful not to overdo sweet things, so no fizzy or lollies unless I have plenty of insulin or have very low blood sugar and need to bring it backup!

I would really appreciate your prayers at the moment, that God will help me to deal emotionally with the big changes I will have to make, and that I will get the hang of living with diabetes quickly, and also that mum will have strength and grace as this is quite a task for her as well!

In the mean time, I am feeling a lot perkier since I was stabilized, and God has been giving me the courage to remain joyful through the week, and I feel so lucky in all the good things he has given me, such as modern medicine. I am expecting to have some ups and downs over the next few months, especially in my heart and coping with the idea of living dependant on injections for the rest of my life. However, lets face it, if I lived in Africa or an Indian slum, things would be way worse without diabetes than they are here with it! And if I had of got it there, I would be comatose or dead by now. So Praise God for the plan he has for me, and for this installment...

Joseph "I'm Innocent!"

In May 2007 we reported how Joseph was arrested and charged with the possession of drugs. These drugs had been planted by the authorities to put a stop to his strong evangelical outreach to the community. As a Christian, he felt ashamed to have been arrested on these trumped up charges. Fear and astonishment flooded his mind as he cried out to the guards "I am innocent!" During five days in lockup the guards severely and systematically beat him to coerce a confession from him which, under great duress, he reluctantly did. In court, though he pleaded not guilty, Joseph was sentenced to 15 years of hard labour. The sentence was a devastating blow for both Joseph and his family. Legal aid was hired and VOM Australia funded the cost to present evidence that would testify to his innocence before the court. But in all of this darkness Joseph found strength in the 23rd Psalm and it reminded him of God's unfailing love for him. He placed his trust completely in God.

We asked Joseph to describe for us what it was like for a Christian during the time he was in prison. He replied "It was a clear case of discrimination against us. We were constantly watched and many Christians suffered from the cruelty that was inflicted on them by the guards. It was normal for us to receive beatings for no reason at all. It was simply because we were Christians and targeted for special attention by the guards who were instructed by the authorities."

After spending one year in prison, the guards' attention relaxed slightly as small groups of Christians began meeting for worship. Of course this came at a cost. Either money or food was given to a friendly guard, but these times were so precious to the believers that they were willing to sacrifice what they had just so they could meet and worship together.

Often when Joseph thought that things were easing on the Christians, they would be set apart for "special duties" projects for a senior officer. These duties were some of the hardest times that Joseph had to face. They would operate in a chain gang on a project. A normal gang would take two days to complete a project. However, the Christian chain gang were told they had to finish the project within one day or be forced to pay the penalty. He thought one time that he would die from the hard labour but he refused to be discouraged and trusted the Lord for his strength to endure. Many were not as fortunate as Joseph in escaping the pain and suffering.

Looking into the eyes of Joseph one could see a determination and strength to survive this trial. Throughout the interview we sensed that this young man had seen and experienced many terrible things. He had certainly witnessed much, but deep in his spirit there is a will to stand firm in the Word of God and, through Christ, to rise from this trial victorious. After serving only three years and two months a miracle happened. Through a government amnesty programme Joseph was released. It was on 15th November 2007, that Joseph made his way home to surprise his family. His mother was surprised; not expecting anyone. She went and opened the door. There in the doorway stood Joseph. He simply said three words, "Mum, Mum Mum!" She was shocked to see her son standing there and with tears flowing she embraced him tightly and called for the family saying "Joseph is home . . . come quickly!" Today, Joseph takes a leading role in the youth activities in the church. Recently he led a Gospel team to evangelise villages and shared his testimony of God's grace in his life. He comments that "In this world there is nothing as constant as God. Only God is our faithful deliverer! It is Him and Him only that we can truly trust and rely on".

From http://www.persecution.com.au/