A Miser's Telegram

Mr McKinner, a pathetic miser, had an important bit of news to share with his family. But since he had to pay by the word, he thought he would cut corners, and sent this cryptic telegram. Can you work out what he meant?

"Bruises hurt, erased afford erected
analysis hurt too infectious dead"

Here's a clue: "Bruce's hurt,"

Cloony The Clown, by Shel Silverstein

I'll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, "Go back to bed!"
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, "I'll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown."
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With "Hah-Hah-Hahs" and "Hee-Hee-Hees."
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, 'cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT -
I'M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT."
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.

Teaching

Hi from Whangaparoa!

Since Monday, I have been doing work experience in a Christian school, Kingsway. It has been so much fun so far. I was a little bit nervous beforehand, not having been in school since yr. three, but I really didn't need to be. I am spending this first week helping with the New Entrants in room one. The teacher is really lovely, and very good at her job. She keeps things very, very structured. The kids are cute, but quite naughty, because they didn't have good training last year. There is one little girl who reads bid words like Father, and Mother, but can't quite work out at and to. Another little boy wouldn't listen to me until I threatened to tel Mrs. Greig. He Behaved so well that we struck a deal; he would be good, stop hitting girls with toys, and sit in the corner for five minutes, if I wouldn't tell Mrs. Greig. Hey, it's a bit underhand, but what can you do on a chaotic rainy lunchtime, with the teacher away.

I'll write again soon,
Mrs. Cherry (as I have been christened)