Modesty & Self Expression

Some people say that nobody should tell a girl how to dress, and her self-expression should not be stifled for any reason whatsoever. At the opposite extreme are the proponents of the burqa, which entirely blanks out individuality in favour of modesty. Where on this scale does a Christian girl belong? Is modesty or self-expression more important for her?

For the purposes of this essay, I will define modestly strictly as ‘The deliberate avoidance of any sexual connotations in one’s own manner, bearing or dress’. Self expression is, according one dictionary, ‘the means by which one’s personal characteristics are displayed; showing ones internal beliefs or character by means of external actions/changes”.


Our culture strongly encourages self expression, and almost elevates it to being a virtue. Christians should remember that the scripture does not take this exulted view! The bible affirms again and again that our lives are not about communicating about ourselves but about obeying God, in such passages as Romans 6:22 “…You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God…” and 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “…You are not your own; you were bought at a price…” The principle is that before we express ourselves, we should express Jesus Christ.

We can express Christ in two ways, by imitating him, and by obeying his commands in the bible. Applied to fashion, the imitation of Christ does not mean we should all dress like first century Jews! Rather, we should make our decisions about dress using the same basis that Jesus used. He did not try to get glory for himself, but used his life to give honour to God. When they are modest, girls bring credit to God and their families in the same way that a unit of disciplined soldiers in neatly pressed uniforms bring credit to their officers. Conversely, women who wear suggestive clothing are like army troopers lounging sloppily in mismatched gear, bringing derision on themselves and on their commander.

The other way of expressing Christ is to obey his commandments. His word is clear on how women should dress; “I also want woman to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God”(1 Tim 2:9). Many people argue that these standards are outdated, and only applied in the Mediterranean cultures of Paul’s day, but that is not true. While the exact rules of modesty may change between times and cultures, e.g. braided hair or a bunny symbol signifying a licentious woman, the principal of not dressing provocatively still applies to every culture.

One might say that these standards are overly harsh and that it is unfair that the girl must submit entirely to God’s rules without any compromise on his part. But if God does not allow compromise on the issues of stealing or gossip, why should he compromise on the issue of modesty? We do not have the right to demand a 50/50 settlement with him. What would a human judge say if you offered to obey some parts of the law if he agreed to let you off others?

Having said all this, if a girl truly is a Christian, there should be no conflict between her self expression and modesty. A person’s faith is one of the most important things they can express, and so dressing modestly will be part of a Christian girl's self expression. My former comment about burqas covering up all individuality was not quite true. The burqa does express one very important thing about the woman wearing it: She is a Muslim. Making a point of dressing modestly also says something about the girl who chooses to do so: that she is wholeheartedly committed to honouring Christ.

Unlike Muslim veiling, Christian modesty is not a major limit on a young woman's self expression. Any girl can express herself via her apparel without leaving the bounds of decency. For example, Maree* is a practical, easygoing girl who loves to have fun and do things a little bit differently; she wears lime green mesh singlets over t-shirts, hot pink plastic heels, and wacky dollar-store accessories. Gina* is as different from Maree as jasmine is from gerberas. Her elegantly coordinated outfits and classy boots convey that she is a motivated young lady who is preparing to take on the world. Both girls are very modest, and still have their own distinctive style which communicates their personalities.

To sum up, modesty is more important than self expression for a Christian girl because her life is about obeying and honouring God. His commands must take precedence over her desires, and so his command to dress modestly takes precedence over her taste in clothes. However, there are many ways to communicate oneself within the bounds of modesty, and God loves to see his daughters using them. So I say: Girls, express yourselves. But, first and foremost, express Christ.


*Not real names